I find myself not knowing where to start.
How about here.
Last Sunday, Kevin and I went to bed very tired, feeling very sick and completely clueless. I'm sure at some point that day we had mentioned adoption. Most days had a mention somewhere. The day before I had met with a friend at Mobius Children Museum in Spokane and while the kids played, I talked to her about my frustration with feeling stuck. Feeling like I was doing what I felt called to do, but was being ignored by God. Don't get these feelings confused with what I know to be true (which is that God never ignores, even when He doesn't answer), but we all know that sometimes head knowledge doesn't match up with feeling knowledge. I would classify my feelings on the adoption as very frustrated and denial. I think at times I would have liked to quit, but instead opted to ignore it to the best of my ability instead. And I would say that my feelings had probably been like that for, oh, a year or so. After all, this was a 2 1/2 plus year process.
Then came Monday morning at 4:30. Our phone rang, which, I'm sure you know, doesn't happen much. My first thought was, "Why is the sub line calling me on a day off? Are you kidding me?!" Then the lady on the phone introduced herself as Libby from Lifetime. Now, I've been at this long enough to know that if you get a call from the adoption agency in the middle of night, it means something! She went on to say that a baby girl had been born about two hours before in Arizona and Libby had been talking with the birthmom all night setting up an adoption plan. Kevin and I decided to not really get into details about the birthmom out of respect but here is kind of the basics-- she had contacted Lifetime in August and started the process, but didn't follow it along. She thought she had more time (put her due date at least a month later), but hadn't had prenatal care so really didn't know. Libby wanted to know if we were interested. After a brief, blurry eyed conversation, Kevin and I called her back and said we wanted to move forward with the match.
Then came complete chaos. While I rooted through boxes of baby stuff in the our crowded, messy, nursery/dumping room, Kevin got to work finding plane tickets and suitcases. By 8:30, we were in the car leaving the girls with a good friend, with some freshly laundered baby things (think burp clothes and swaddle blankets) packed. We forgot a few items. But who needs a camera, sunglasses or Garmin navigation system? (Uh, yeah, we could have really used them.)
So, we drove to Spokane (in the snow, because every story needs a dramatic element like that), hopped on a plane (thanking God for free airline tickets that allowed us to fly at a moment's notice) and flew to Arizona. From Phoenix we drove almost two hours to Tucson, arriving at the hospital at about 6:30, 13 hours after the phone rang, 15 hours after birth.
It is rather strange to show up at a hospital, in a city you've never been to, in a state you've never been to, and walk up to the front desk and say you are there to see a baby you are adopting. It took awhile, but someone finally was able to help us to the maternity ward, where a very nice nurse showed us around the floor and finally, FINALLY, brought us to the nursery where there was just one little bassinet.
Of course, because this is an adoption and things seem to go awkwardly, we had to show our driver's licenses before we could meet her. Later, after a bit of drama regarding whether we could bring her to our room to stay with us, we had to give them our licenses to hold on to (seems more like how you rent bowling shoes then a way to have your daughter keep you up all night, but whatever). I will say that everyone was so nice that we dealt with. The nurses in the nursery had been in there all day caring for her and raved about what a sweet girl she was (turns out, they weren't lying or biased-she's fantastic).
The next day or so were a blur. Mostly because at that point we were so extremely exhausted. We hung out in the hospital room, caring for baby and frantically trying to rearrange the next week or so of our lives to accommodate a complete change of plans. We spent some quality time on the phone with the lawyers. Lawyers is plural because we have one in Arizona and one in Spokane. Both have been great helping us out and are working hard to get everything settled for us. We also meet with the pediatrician, which was nice. He was intending to release us on Tuesday, but due to not knowing the birthmom's Group B Strep status decided to monitor the baby for another day. That was great with us--one less day paying a hotel!
We also met the birthmom on Tuesday. She was a bit hesitant to meet with us, but ended up stopping by with her mom. It was a very nice visit, although one of those that words don't really work right. She was happy to meet us, looked at the baby, was glad to hear what the doctor and nurses had been telling us regarding how well the baby was doing and was glad to hear about Hannah and Abby. We gave her a profile (a fancy adoption resume/scrapbook) and she talked about how pretty our girls looked (I, of course, agreed). We also had a funny conversation about life in a small town (she isn't from Tucson, just drove in to deliver). After we exchanged email addresses so we can send her and her mom pictures, they left. I think talking to the birthmom helped me start to breathe easier. The scary part about adoption is the fear that the birthmom will change her mind, but after our talk, I stopped worrying about that. (Follow up: on Thursday, in a court in Spokane, birthmom's rights were ended as the 48 hours she had to change her mind had passed.)
There is so much more to share, most importantly details about the baby! I'll get to that hopefully later, maybe even tomorrow. I'll also try to do a picture post, although if you want to see this sweet girl, go on facebook-we've been posting new pictures daily.
